A Little Marriage Mystery- Part 1

I can still see him approaching me- it was our study period and we were in the library. I was a 17-year-old girl and was known as one of the few Christians of our grade. With my head in a book, I was aiming to use the period to get as much accomplished as I could. I was slightly self-conscious and often seemed weighed down by the high expectations I placed on myself.

Who was he? He was an 18 year old, confident and easy-going lead singer of one of the bands in our local community. He was always ready with a joke and seemed to dance to his own song, not burdened by the opinions of others. His singer status had meant he had captured the eye of a few girls in our grade and I was not immune to his steel blue eyes, dimples and red hair. With the brief chats we had had, I knew that he was struggling with his faith, working out where God fitted in life and was trying to decide whether to pursue God wholeheartedly or not. He made me think. On his quest for desiring a genuine life, he drew me in. He made me start thinking about why I did things and encouraged me to not be hypocritical about my faith, but make it my own. 

This year, we celebrate nine years married and have been blessed with two children. Somedays those library chats seem a lifetime ago. We strive for God to be the centre of our marriage and our own lives as individuals, sometimes we get there. Sure, we have highs and lows but stopping to think of God's work through marriage is an important thing. God seems to craft love stories, just as we delight in them.

Ever wonder how our desire for romance and love translate into Biblical truth? Are these just fancies or is there something innate in our make up that cause us to crave being treasured and loved for who we are? We are now a few days away from Valentine’s Day- the celebration of all things love. What does it all really mean this love and how do we navigate these paths while desiring God and his glory above all else?

As Christians, when we celebrate romantic love, we should be celebrating marriage. As a symbol of Christ's relationship with the church, marriage points us to Jesus and his redeeming work on the cross. Ephesians 5:22-33 shows us that Paul understood that marriage is a symbol of Jesus' relationship with his bride- the church:

2 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In verse 32, Paul describes marriage as a 'mystery' that points to Jesus and the church.  As John Piper, in his sermon on marriage says, “Marriage is a mystery. There is more here than meets the eye. What is it? I think it's this: God didn't create the union of Christ and the church after the pattern of human marriage; just the reverse, he created human marriage on the pattern of Christ's relation to the church.” Just as the husband and wife become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31), faith too bonds Jesus Christ to the individual believer and church as a whole. 

As we gear up for celebrating love and love in our marriages, may we too take a moment to examine our relationships with our ultimate groom- Jesus Christ. Does we need some time out to enjoy Him? Do we need to withdraw to a quiet place to listen to Him? Do we need to take some time to celebrate Him and His ultimate sacrificial gift of love?

photo credit: F is for February - Week 6 via photopin (license)

Putting on our God-focused Glasses

Where is your heart this morning? Not the beating one, pumping blood around your body (I'm hoping that is in your chest as it should be). I mean the one that contains your loves, your desires, your treasures. Since becoming a mum, I often feel so full of protective love for my family that I sometimes feel my flesh tugging my heart towards them more than to God. When this starts to happen, I feel my fears for them increase and my trust of God decrease. Know what I mean? 

In 1 John 2: 15-17 we read,

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life[a]—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

But doesn't God want us to love the world as he does? After all, "for God so loved the world..." (John 3:16). He does want us to love the world. What he doesn't want, is for us to be devoted to a world where he is not honoured or treasured (see James 4:4). In this passage, we see that John defines what he is talking about- 'all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life' (1 John 2:16). If our desires take the place of God or when they are not directed toward God, they become idolatrous (strong word hey!)

In the book, "Who Do You Think You Are?" (2013, Thomas Nelson), Mark Driscoll writes about idolatry in our lives and how easy it is for things of the world to creep in and take hold of our heart strings and define who we are. He gives a great little acrostic to help us remember what IDOLS can be. 

I- Items
Our desire for things can be a stumbling block for us. We go to the shops and look through the beautifully displayed clothes, food, furnishings and Lady Lust starts weaving her tentacles into our heart. "What we own is our public way of projective our desired image. The examples are endless...Consumer culture is so pervasive that we take it for granted, and almost no aspect of life is untouched by it. Everywhere we turn, we run into advertising telling us to buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't know..." (Driscoll, 2013, p.7).

D- Duties
It is so easy to fill our lives with things that we do. We feel satisfaction when we complete a task, or when we volunteer for serving others, or when we have achieved something. This has been a struggle for me stopping work and becoming a full-time mother. Somedays I don't feel a sense of achievement and this frustrates me. I perceive motherhood too is a culturally less-than-esteemed role, being a 'full-time mum' does not seem like some amazing achievement, particularly when you are asked, "Yes, but what do you do during the day" or "when are you planning to go back to work?" I find it a helpful reminder- "The truth is that you're not what you do. You have God-given natural talents, Holy Spirit-endowed gifts, and unique abilities. You also have duties, but these duties do not define you, because your identity is not determined by what you do. Rather, who you are in Christ helps you faithfully pursue your duties and use your abilities without them becoming the essence of your dignity and identity" (Driscoll, 2013, p.9).

O- Others
Do we put other peoples' opinions or relationships with others as a way that we feel valued and successful? Do we place how many Facebook friends or Blog followers as part of our identity? "This propensity to find our identity in others is commonly referred to as giving in to peer pressure, people pleasing, codependency, and having a fear of man. Practically, this explains why we'll often change our appearance and behavior depending on whom we're with and whom we seek to impress... This explains why some friends and family members can be so demanding, smothering, and needy. It also explains why we're so easily inflated by praise and deflated by criticism. It's as if others have the ability to determine our identity for that day based on a word or even a glance. In giving this power over our lives to others, we give them a god-like position to rule over us and define who we are." (Driscoll, 2013, p.10). 

L- Longings
What do you long for? Do you spend your days hoping and waiting for the next best thing? Sometimes, I find myself thinking... "When the kids are older, I'll be able to have more sleep", or "When we go on holidays, I'll be able to have a bit more rest" or "when I return to work we will have more money". These things I realise are me living in the future, instead of in the present. Enjoying the day I am given today, and really engaging with my God, my husband, my children and my friends in the here and now for eternity is what I am called to do. "Longings give us hope that tomorrow might be better so we can persevere today. We all have longings, but when they become the source of our identity, our life becomes inordinately governed by our feelings and our future rather than our present, and God's past, present, and future work on our behalf"  (Driscoll, 2013, p.10).

S- Sufferings
This one seems like a strange thing to have as an idol. We all dread the thought of suffering. But when we do suffer, it is often easy to wear it as a badge of honour, broadcasting our identity to others based on whatever we are going through- Cancer-survivor, enduring a long and hard pregnancy or labour, allergy-sufferer, exhausted mother. After the first year of being a mum, I realised I was saying how exhausted I was whenever someone asked how I was doing. I came to realise maybe this is just an aspect of motherhood. While it is good to share our suffering and be honest with one another, it is easy for this to become something that equates our worth- how strong and brave we are, or how hard we have things. We should be defined by Jesus, rather than by whatever hardship we are going through. 

I find it a challenging list. I so often think of idols as either the Israelites worshipping the golden calf in the Old Testament, or someone over-polishing their gleaming red sports car (weird that this is the first thing that always pops into my mind when I think of idol!) Instead, it is so much more. Our love for the world and what the world has, can slowly and sneakily creep into our thinking and our hearts. Augustine once wrote, "Hold fast to Christ. For you he became temporal, so that you might partake of eternity" (Homilies on the First Epistle of John 2) Let us fix our eyes on God and worship HIM, rather than the blessings that he gives us or trials he allows for us. 

photo credit: Joe Dyndale via photopin cc

A Godly Wife... Who Can FInd?

Somedays my hands feel very full. Somedays I get to the end of the day and feel weary but don't have anything really material to show for it. I haven't come home with financial reward for my toil. The washing baskets are filling up when I just emptied them. Toys cover the floor even though I've picked them up more than once during the day. With two little ones, I am in the trenches of hands on motherhood. During my day, I find it easy to be filled with dissatisfaction that I can't see anything amazing achieved. I can spiral down into a negative and frustrated mood, with too much self-focus and not enough time spent looking up to Jesus. Amongst a few of these days lately, I have been reading the short biography of Sarah Edwards written by Noel Piper in her book "Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God" (2005, Crossway).

I'm not sure if you know much about Jonathan Edwards- he is perhaps the greatest theologian and philosopher America has known and lived around 250 years ago. His life, and that of his wife Sarah, prove the saying true: behind any great man is a great woman (and behind any great woman is a great God).

Sarah Edwards was mother to 11 children. Her husband Jonathan, was often given to times of deep contemplation that meant he wasn't present at every meal and would spend the majority of his day in his office writing sermons, meeting with parishioners and studying the Bible. Sarah meanwhile, spent her day either doing or delegating the tasks of running a home in the 1700s and her tasks on her 'to-do' list may have included: "breaking ice to haul water, bringing in firewood and tending the fire, cooking and packing lunches for visiting travelers, making the family's clothing (from sheep-shearing through spinning and weaving to sewing), growing and preserving produce, making brooms, doing laundry, tending babies and nursing illnesses, making candles, feeding poultry, overseeing butchering, teaching the boys whatever they didn't learn at school, and seeing that the girls learned homemaking creativity. And that was only a fraction of Sarah's responsibilities" (Piper, 2005, p. 23). Suddenly my hands feel a little less full....

Did Sarah sit around complaining or whinging at her ever-present list of tasks or her husband's quiet retreat to his study? No. Sarah was the kind of wife who empowered her husband to be all that he could be as he followed God's leading in his life. As she went about her daily tasks, she allowed her husband the time to grow in his knowledge and understanding of God and His Word and write down his reflections that still influence us today. Jonathan was an attentive husband and father. Their affection for God, each other and their children was often documented (even journaled about by visitors such as Samuel Hopkins and George Whitefield).

In 1900, Winship conducted a study that found the legacy that Jonathan and Sarah Edwards left included: "13 college presidents, 65 professors, 100 lawyers and a dean of a law school, 30 judges, 66 physicians and a dean of a medical school, and 80 holders of public office (including 3 US senators, mayors of 3 large cities, governors of 3 states, a vice president of the US, a controller of the US Treasury)" (in Piper, 2005, p.22).  And this was only up until the year 1900!

In spite of this list though, and the sheer task of raising eleven children (AMAZING!), what really stood out to me about the biographies of Sarah's life, was that she threw herself into her life with a deep peace that came from a personal, vibrant and living pursuit of relationship with God. Her life was not without hardship,  but in it, she actively sought God in the middle of them. "Stresses over finances, distress at having upset her husband, jealousy over another's ministry- all those things were real in Sarah's life. And God used those things to reveal himself to Sarah, to show her how much she needed him, to uncover her own weakness" (Piper, 2005, p.30).

As I've read about Sarah Edwards' life, I have been impacted by the work of the Holy Spirit in her life and available in our lives. As we are empowered by the grace of God that covers our sin and are equipped by the gentle leading of the Holy Spirit, rooted in His Word, our life too can be beautiful (Praise God!). As we go through what seems to be the mundane mothering tasks, we can recognise that we are undertaking our greatest evangelical role- that of raising children in the love and admonition of God. We also can remember we have the ability to empower our husbands through being their help-meet, or crippling them through our nagging brought on by too much bellybutton gazing. And we can experience the joy that is based on our relationship with God, rather than our circumstances.

May you be blessed as you go about your day and whatever situation you are in.

*As a side note, Desiring God do this amazingly generous thing by providing their books free for online download
"Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God" (Noel Piper, Crossway): http://cdn.desiringgod.org/pdf/books_bfw/books_bfw.pdf

Blog Post on other free resources by Desiring God: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/24-free-ebooks-for-you

photo credit: __stardust via photopin cc

Being with Jesus to Be Tuned to Jesus

Abide: verb. to wait for, to endure without yielding, to bear patiently, to remain stable or fixed in a place, to continue in a place.

I've been marvelling at the development of my 3 year old daughter lately. Each days she becomes a little more articulate and her mannerisms become more pronounced. Sometimes I smile when I realise just how she does little things the same way I do, or says things with the same expressions I use. I realise that the more time we spend together the more I will notice these things. Because as we spend more and more time with the same people, we become more like them. 
          
I often hear the phrase "abide with me" and think about the work I do living a life for Jesus. Yet abiding means so much more than that. It is also a state of being. As the definition above shows, it means standing firm and enduring, day by day and hour by hour- continuing. It is spending time together and walking through the ups and downs of life hand in hand with Jesus. 

Hudson Taylor has been quoted as saying, "Abiding in Jesus isn't fixing our attention on Christ, but it is being one with him. A man is abiding just as much when he is sleeping for Jesus, as when he is awake and working for Jesus. Oh, it is a very sweet thing to have ones mind just resting there." Sometimes it is helpful to remember the need to quieten our soul in order to be thankful for the gift of grace and sweet sweet mercy in Jesus- because he has done the work. And then just enjoy being with him and living life with him. 


When we take time to be with our God, read his word and share the joys and burdens of our hearts, our eyes become more firmly fixed on him and our mind is transformed little by little. Our whole person becomes a little more in tune with him. Like a violin tuning up to a tuning fork, we too are in the process of being tuned to Jesus.  


In 1 John 2:1-6 we read:

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 2 He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. 3 And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. 4Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: 6 whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. 

As we see in verse 4 above, it is more than just saying "we are followers of Jesus". It is through the day to day walking and following Jesus' example, marvelling in his grace that covers us and enjoying being in his presence and getting to know him that really shows if his love is in us. In relationship we grow more in his likeness and are changed from the inside out. 
photo credit: Steve Snodgrass via photopin cc

Walking in the Light

Light is an amazing thing when you pause to ponder it. I think I became fascinated with the power of light at university when we were studying the art of Marian Drew. A Queensland-based photographer, Drew creates photographs in a dark studio and then armed with a long exposure setting and torchlight, she uses light to 'paint' her still life. 

Her work deals with the effects of humanity on nature. When first viewing her work, there is such a whimsical beauty, yet on closer inspection, one realises that she has actually used dead animals (often road kill she has picked up and taken home) which she arranges delicately on her table like it belongs there. It use to amaze me that something so beautiful was actually made up of dead things. When I was living out in rural New South Wales, it certainly made me think differently about the plethora of road kill on the side of the roads!

Tasmanian Rosella with Apple, Marian Drew, 2005

Light illuminates the darkness. It exposes the reality of what is actually there. It brings comfort to some, it brings fear to others. Plato has been quoted as saying, "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” This is the same about the True Light:


"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:5-7

As Christians, we should love the light of God. Yes, sometimes it exposes painful realities, as the Holy Spirit shines His torchlight on areas of sin in our lives. But we need to remember that a Holy God demands Holiness and because this is impossible for us to fulfil he sent his wonderful gift of Jesus.  That being said, "If we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we live and do not practice the truth" (1 John 1:6). In essence, we deceive ourselves if we think we can live in relationship with a Holy God and continue to bathe in the muck and filth of sin and darkness. 

BUT: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9) Praise God! No darkness is too dark for God. His light illuminates the way and leads us out. As Isaiah prophesied about the coming of Jesus, "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone" (Isaiah 9:2). 

So how do we walk in light? 

"...for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." (Ephesians 5:8-17).

Here it says we are to remove ourselves from the darkness and walk according to the light, the fruit of which is found in all that is good and right and true (Eph 5:9). 

Psalm 119:105 also tells us that "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." So when we are wondering whether something is of the light, we can allow the Bible to light our way and direct us. For it is God's Word and meditating on it that teaches us how to wisely walk in the light. Let us go forth, dancing and rejoicing for we are children of the Light!

photo credit: RiRi Trautmann via photopin cc

God's Sovereignty and Some Emotions

Somedays I wake up immensely thankful. The sunlight gentle nudges me awake, the kids have had  good sleeps (usually leading to me sharing in this good sleep) and the day looks bright and full of promise. I join with the psalmist and my heart sings, "my mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day" (Psalm 71:8).

Today was one of those mornings. My heart was overflowing and I was so thankful for the blessings God continues to pour out on me (particularly in the blessings of my family). The children were cheerful, their mummy was cheerful. Dave and I were able to go and have a yummy breakfast together overlooking the beach  (while the cheerful children were loved up by their grandparents I might add). We then had a family afternoon enjoying the warm weather and waves at the beach. A full and wonderful day.

But then some days aren't so wonderful. Some mornings my bleary eyes don't want to open. The kids are cranky, their mummy is usually cranky. I progress through the mundane, sure it must almost be over (or at least nap time) but the clock is only just ticking over to 9am. 

Somedays fear and anxiety aren't far from my mind and I worry about the future, the finances, the things I can't control. The burdens of life seem to be heavier than usual. The weather is bleak. This time, it is my melancholic soul that agrees with the psalmist, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 43:5)

Emotions are fickle things. As women they often seem to have more ups and downs than our male counterparts. Sure, chocolate is an amazing thing. But in these swinging times, how do we know that we are pursuing the right thing? Is God real? How do we know he is working when we don't feel anything? 

In a fantastic post on Desiring God yesterday,  "How Involved Is God in the Details of Your Life?" Jon Bloom (January 16, 2015) encourages readers to see that God is involved in the details of our lives. Whether we see it or not, whether we feel it or not, God is Sovereign and at work in our world and in the details. Through the life of Joseph, as documented in the book of Genesis, Bloom again and again points out that no matter how bad the circumstance, God was still firmly on the job. Bloom poignantly concludes:

The detailed narrative of Joseph’s life, among many other things, is a loving letter from your Good Shepherd (John 10:11) — the same Good Shepherd who guided Joseph through green pastures and the valley of the shadow of death, pursuing him with good all the days of his life (Psalm 23) — to remind you that no matter what you are experiencing, sweet or bitter, good or evil, no matter how long it’s lasting, he has not left you alone (John 14:18). He is with you (Psalm 23:4), he is working all things together for good (Romans 8:28), and he will be with you to the end (Matthew 28:20).

Growing up my mum had a wise saying, "Do not doubt in the dark what you know to be true in the light." When we have these ups and downs (hormone-driven or not ;) ) we can rest assured and be confident that God is working and is on the job. He doesn't get tired (Psalm 121:4). He doesn't get crabby or cranky, rather he is slow to anger and abounding in love (Numbers 14:18). In the meantime, the book of Psalms show us how to handle the full range of emotions. Whatever we are feeling, we can find comfort in the Word of God. We  also can honestly share our heart with our God who sees all, knows all and is working in all.

photo credit: ~~~johnny~~~ via photopin cc

My Community, My Church

(image courtesy: wiseemployment)

Ever imagine what it would have been like to be part of the Early Church community? Imagine what it would have been like hearing from the apostles, breaking bread with those who had witnessed feeding of the five thousand, being encouraged by Barnabas the encourager. Imagine the infectious enthusiasm shared by the church body where people outside the church were so amazed by the manner and message that they were drawn to it and longed to be part of it. 

How would our churches measure up today? I have been thinking lately about the way I so often go to church without a burning desire to really commune with my brothers and sisters there. Instead I share surface-level conversations and then leave without really encouraging anyone to press on in their pursuit of God. Instead critically, I often run through a check-list of how much I received through the service.

 "Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need." (Acts 4:32-35) Did you catch that- all who believed were of one heart and soul and there was not a needy person among them. Pretty amazing I think. 

Community. It's a word with so much weight. Dr. Stuart Fowler (2004) defines community as "a unified human organism with a distinct identity characterised by a shared life in which all of its members participate". In this definition, the health of us as the church community depends on how well we share our lives and participate in it. As in Paul's analogy of the church as the body- all need to participate for the body to be healthy (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). 

Tim Chester and Steve Timmis in their book "Total Church: A Radical Reshaping Around Gospel and Community"(2008), urge us as Christians to realise we are called to community driven by the gospel. "We are not saved individually and then choose to join the church as if it were some club or support group. Christ died for his people, and we are saved when by faith we become part of the people for whom Christ died" (2008, p.39). This has been quite a revelation for me- so often I think of my relationship with Jesus as personal (which it is!) but not in terms of the fact I was saved into a community. 

Church should not be just another thing on my responsibility list, instead it should be part of who I am. Instead of thinking individualistically, perhaps I should be praying that God would plant in me a desire to serve the body and really participate and fervently desire to see my local church (and then the global church) become a place where people are so connected to God and each other that others can not help but want to become apart of it. 

Further Reading? When Gathering With The Church Seems 'Meh', Gloria Furman

References:

Chester, T. and Timmis, S. (2008). Total Church: A Radical Reshaping around Gospel and Community. Wheaton: Crossway Books.

Fowler, S. (2004). Experiencing Community in the School. In Pointing the Way. J. Ireland, R. Edlin and K. Dickens (eds.) 115-130 Sydney: NICE

Confessions of a Christian Facebook Junky

My husband hates Facebook. He always has and probably always will. As an I.T. teacher, always keen on the latest technology, it was a surprise initially that he would so strongly be against something technological. After all, we first started dating through MSN (too young to remember? I'm sure Wikipedia has a page on it...) 

I distinctly remember our first discussion about Facebook. I was sitting at our computer spending hours trying to work out which photos I should upload that would make me seem exciting with a side of awesome. I remember looking at him and asking when he was going to make his Facebook page. His response? "Never." That made my fingers hesitate, momentarily suspended in between status updates. "Why?" I asked. "Because Facebook is the spawn of Satan" came his cheeky reply. From that moment, I have tried to present my man with the endearing qualities of Facebook. The fact it helps you connect with long lost friends. You get to share great enlightening blog articles. And recently, it helped me find out about a fantastic Vistaprint Sale where I managed to SAVE money! (The last one sounded better in my head). In spite of being a pro-Facebooker (and I know there are LOTS of positives to Facebook), over the last few days I've been wondering if maybe my hubby may just be on to something. Quietly, I've been convicted that maybe it isn't as amazing as I think it is and maybe, just maybe it has a bit too much of a hold on me. 

Hi. I'm Emily. I'm a Christian. Wife. Mother. And I'm a Facebook Junky. Here is My Confession. Yes, ironic I know- I am using social media to discuss a social media site. 

1. Facebook Promotes Narcissism 

In "How to Spot a Narcissist" by Samuel Lopez De Victoria, he defines Narcissism as the "egotistical preoccupation with self...and how he/she is perceived by others." While it is disputed whether Facebook is a cause of Narcissism, or if Narcissists are drawn to Facebook for its ease of presenting the self to others, I know on a personal level that my self-focus increases in proportion to the amount of time I spend on Facebook. How am I being perceived? How many Likes do I have? I haven't seen many status updates from so and so- have they deleted me as a Friend?  

Essentially, the preoccupation with ones 'self' over that of God is idolatry. While we may not be fashioning a graven idol (Exodus 20:3-6), we may be writing a status update or uploading a photo to point others to how great we are instead of how great our God is. 2 Timothy 3:1-8 also warns us against the preoccupation with self, informing us that in the last days, people will be lovers of themselves and evil. 

2. It Enslaves Me

With over 1.35 billion users, latest stats say that 72% of online adults use Facebook at least once a month and on average a user spends 21 minutes a day on Facebook. We are able to download apps that 'conveniently' inform us of online Facebook notifications at any time and in any place and broadcast how long it has been since we were last on Facebook or if in fact if we are online right now. This accessibility also becomes a little addictive for me,  luring me online to see what people have been up to and how people are responding to what I have been up to. I can almost hear Paul's admonition to the Galatians to stay free from the bondage of slavery ringing in my ear (Galatians 4:1-11). 

3. It Leads Me To Sin- Gossip, Lie, Pride, Lust, Deceit... etc.

When I'm on Facebook, I am usually found quietly 'stalking' my friends. Looking at their photos, reading their posts and often not even letting them know I'm doing so. But as soon as I get together with an in-the-flesh-friend, Facebook statuses, photos and posts often become the topic of conversation. Without even meaning to, we have slipped down the slick slide of gossip, separating friends and spreading strife (Proverbs 16:28). At other times, particularly when I'm knee-deep in the mothering trenches, I find myself lusting after the more interesting and glamorous life of a friend, or wishing it was me sipping those cocktails on the beach of Bora-Bora. In these moments, I am reminded of Galatians 5:19-21 and find my mind is not being filled with truth and things that are pure, lovely and admirable (Philippians 4:8). 

4. It Makes Me Forget My Home

I am a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20). As a child of God, my name is written in the Book of Life alongside the greats like Paul and Moses. Yet as I look at Facebook, my focus on eternity gets just a little blurry. I start forgetting that I shouldn't belong to this world (Romans 12:2), that I should be eagerly awaiting my Saviour, not my next popular status update. One day, my Lord Jesus Christ will transform me into something pretty amazing (Philippians 3:21). But it won't be for my glory, it will be for His. He will be the radiant beauty, the one all eyes are drawn to (Hebrews 1:3). 

At these moments, I am glad that I stand under the sweet sweet grace of Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9). I am forgiven and set free. And so, I will press on toward the goal of heaven (using Facebook or not). And in the meantime, I might just take a little respite from the glossy world of Facebook to conquer this oh-so-enjoyable time-wasting addiction. 

photo credit: thomas pieper via photopin cc

January How to: Let's Kickstart Spiritual Growth!

In my last post, I shared about how I really want to prioritise spiritual growth in the year ahead, after all this is what will last into eternity. Even as I write that I realise it is a big claim- one that could quickly spiral down into a works-based self-righteous slump. But as I look to the year ahead, I stand in awe of the glorious grace that flows from the cross and hope that by writing it, it might help me keep more accountable. 

In thinking about spiritual growth, I've stumbled across a few great blog posts to help in my journey that I want to share with you (is it lame that I get really excited when I find some new blog that I connect with- particularly ones that encourage me in my faith- that I just want to send the blogger an e-mail asking if we could be friends? :) )

• John MacArthur has published a great online resource Back to Basics: The ABCs of Christian Living, where he reminds us that once the instantaneous and miraculous event of salvation and Holy Spirit indwelling takes place, we should desire spiritual growth (2 Peter 3:18 and 1 Peter 2:2). This spiritual growth has nothing to do with the amount God loves us, nor does it have to do with how long we have been a Christian for, how much Bible knowledge we have, or how much money we have. So what does spiritual growth have to do with? "Spiritual growth is simply matching my practice with my position. Now, my position in Christ is perfect: I am complete in Him. I have all things that pertain to life and godliness. I have received all spiritual blessings in the heavenlies. But I need to progress in my practical life in a way that is commensurate with my position." (John MacArthur)

• Over at Worship Rejoices, Lindsey shares her desire to grow and the strategies she is going to try and put in place such as strategic Bible reading, Scripture memorisation and systematic prayers. She mentions a prayer app Prayermate that I plan to check out and also references a great Gospel Coalition blog post "How To Change Your Mind" (a fresh Bible reading approach where you choose 1 book of the Bible and read it through 20 times, reading for meaning and comprehension like any other book, ignoring the chapters.)

• She Reads Truth- Another friend is doing this Bible Reading plan, with a free Bible Reading plan, accompanying app and accountability group.

• Courtney Joseph at Women Living Well is also putting together a Bible Reading plan, and has just started working through Exodus.

• My mum has found John Piper's "Solid Joys" app really helpful this past year and YouVersion Bible App have lots of Bible Reading plans and devotions that are free too.

Personally, I think I am going to try the "How to Change Your Mind" approach to Bible reading. I've often felt like I need a Bible study guide or a concordance or questions to read alongside the Bible. Jen Wilkin in her book "Women of the Word" (2014, Crossway), really challenged me to read the Bible on its own, savouring the words as THE Word of God. In this book, Jen provides her own Bible Study principles to help equip us with the tools on how to approach Bible reading as study. Like anything, Jen encourages us to work at it and discipline ourselves so that we become students of the Bible.

In terms of prayer, this is an area that I need to grow in. For years I have journalled my prayers and I've found this helps keep me focused, though I often feel like I get stuck on presenting my wish list to God and become a bit self-focused. "Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy With God" is a new book on prayer by Tim Keller (2014, Dutton Books) that has caught my eye. It was Desiring God's #1 Book for 2014 and will be on my "To Read" list for 2015. Keller's "Gospel in Life" Bible study has been hugely influential in my Christian life, so I'm excited to read this one on prayer and give my prayer life some much needed vitamins. 

I'd love to hear anything you find helpful or encouraging or that you are planning on implementing in 2015 as we grow together in our pursuits of God and growing more like Jesus. 

photo credit: eisenrah via photopin cc

Should a Christian Make New Year Resolutions?

I'm a planner. For as far back as I remember, I have enjoyed making lists, checking them twice and then ticking things off. In the advent period, we so busily try to ensure we have everything prepared. We ready our tree, we decorate our home, we wrap our presents. But then it is over for another year.

Soon after the Christmas celebrations have finished, I begin thinking about the New Year and what my new resolutions or goals will be. Advertisements call to me- Do I want to shed a few extra kilos? Do I want to have a savings goal? Do I want to travel somewhere exotic?

Yet as I've put my daughter to bed over the past few nights, she has whispered in my ear- "Mummy, do you think we will see Jesus tomorrow? He had his birthday and maybe we will see him." Through this little 3 year old, I have been challenged in the depths of my heart- is 2015 a year that Jesus will return? Do I want Him to? Am I ready? His return will not just be another Christmas that comes and goes. It will be a forever. Our lists will end. Those extra few kilos won't matter. Whether I've gone on an African safari lately or trekked Machu Picchu will all be pointless unless they aided me in my pursuit of God.


In 1 Corinthians 15 we read,

"Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 54When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:“Death is swallowed up in victory.”55“O death, where is your victory?O death, where is your sting?”56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Here, Paul reminds us firstly that we can be sure one day Jesus will return. We will also all be changed. In a twinkling of an eye, when the trumpet sounds (v. 51) we will have new bodies. Why? Because our mortal bodies must be replaced with bodies that fit us for eternity (v. 53). In this moment, Paul echoes the words of Hosea (Hosea 13:14), "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?".

As an aside, Paul makes time to point out the sting of death isn't our pain associated with death, rather it is the sting of sin. As Verbrugge in Longman III and Garland exposits, "Paul digresses before he writes his grand conclusion. He wants to identify more closely what the "sting" is that will be conquered through the resurrection. That sting is "sin". ... But when Christ offered himself as a sacrifice for sin on the cross, died, and then rose again as the first fruits (1 Cor 15:20-23), the power of that sting was gone. Death remains an enemy... but only temporarily." (2008, pp.404-405). Paul also shows that our knowledge of sin comes through the law, which we have been freed from at Calvary (Gal 3:13). Hallelujah- what a saviour!

So as we look to the year ahead? We should look to the reality that one of these years Jesus' will return. We should heed Paul's grand conclusion- "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:58). We are working together for the Lord, labouring (sometimes with pain) as the trials of life come our way, but with HOPE and ASSURANCE. As we write our 'lists' for this year ahead, with the Spirit at work in us (Philippians 2:12-16), may readying ourselves for the coming of the Lord be of first priority.

As I look back on 2014, I can see God's faithfulness, patiently working in me, conforming me little by little to the image of His Son. As I look forward I can trust in God's Sovereignty and firm promise that one day He will return: it is a reality. Let us prioritise spiritual growth over that of holidays and weight-loss this coming year, encouraging each other all the more as we see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25).

References:
Verbrugge, V.D. (2008) 1 Corinthians. In T. Longman III & D.E. Garland (Edts. ) "The Expositor's Bible Commentary Revised Edition 11: Romands - Galatians" Grand Rapids: Zondervan


photo credit: hugovk via photopin cc

Nothing in My Hand I Bring

Today my day has been spent in the throws of motherhood. It has been one of those days that leaves you bone-weary from mothering two littlies- ever have those? Yet now, as I take a moment to think back over the day, I see the little snippets as well that pointed me to God and showed me his grace is sufficient for the day. My heart too is full as I am reminded of his amazing grace that sees me and loves me when I am reading the Bible before bed with my kiddies or when I am changing a nappy. It has been one of those unglamorous days really when I am so thankful that as the hymn says, 'nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling' (Toplady, 1776, "Rock of Ages") because frankly, I don't feel like I have much to bring to his feet tonight. But isn't this exactly what the Christian life is about? Recognising it is his grace that washes our feet and as Peter would have it (John 13:6-9), our whole bodies: we are clean, fresh, new and nothing of it is to do with who we are or what we have done.

I often think about those two sisters who pursued God: Mary and Martha. In these two faithful women, Jesus showed his love and grace. I always have identified more with Martha, partly because listening is something I have to work at and also because I am a list-girl. I love fluttering about behind the scenes doing. Yet tonight, when I listen again to Jesus' words that Mary has chosen the better part (Luke 10:42), I am reminded that sitting at his feet is exactly where we should start and finish our day. In Jesus' admonition of Martha's bitterness and frustration at her sister Mary, he tenderly reminds her that his kingdom is about relationship. 

In their recent book, "The Measure of Success", Carolyn McCulley and Nora Shank (2014, B & H Publishing Group) tell us that in this story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), we are reminded that our identity should not be in the jobs we have or the lists we tick off, our identity needs to be found at the feet of Jesus and IN Jesus. 

"Unlike most rabbis of His time, Jesus not only allowed a woman to learn the Scriptures, He also told everyone present that this was the wisest thing Mary could do... No husbands were mentioned for either of these women. No children were mentioned, either. Perhaps they had them once. Perhaps they would have them in the future. No mention was made of their social status, either by wealth or social connections or job skills. But their one identity that was most important was the one that would exist forever: a follower of Christ. This is the identity we need to affirm among ourselves..."(McCulley and Shank, 2014, p.80-81).

At the end of a long day, my identity in Christ is who I am. It is who I should be first and foremost to my family and in my circles of influence. It is where I should place my identity. It is a humble recognition that my life is about Christ and glorifying him. May we remember, as we go about ticking off our lists tomorrow, that we need to be sitting at Jesus' feet, listening to him through his Word and allowing his amazing grace to infiltrate every aspect of our lives.

photo credit: Fabio Trifoni via photopin cc